I’m Mark Cunningham. I created PAWS Long-Term after living through two severe and prolonged experiences following withdrawal from antidepressants—first paroxetine and, years later, venlafaxine.
My experiences included intense anxiety, disrupted sleep, emotional changes, physical agitation, feeling unlike myself and periods when ordinary daily life became extremely difficult.
On both occasions, I experienced an unexpected delay after taking my final dose. I initially appeared to improve before a much more severe phase began approximately three months later. The uncertainty was frightening, particularly when the symptoms did not resemble anything I had experienced before taking antidepressants.
This is my personal story, not a prediction of what will happen to somebody else. People can experience withdrawal differently, and medication decisions should be discussed with an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
When paroxetine stopped helping
I began taking paroxetine in 2011. By around 2013, I felt that it was no longer helping as it once had. When I asked a doctor how I should begin reducing and eventually stop the medication, I was advised to remain on it for life. I did not know whether that advice was right, so I trusted the professional in front of me and continued taking it.
My dose was later increased, but the signs that something was wrong continued. By 2016, I was experiencing episodes of severe depression that seemed to arrive in waves, followed by periods when I felt somewhat better. At the time, I did not connect these changes with paroxetine, although I had begun to suspect that the medication might be involved.
By 2021, I was experiencing suicidal thoughts and sought further help. A different doctor told me that he believed paroxetine had stopped working for me some time before. He advised me to reduce it over three months while beginning another antidepressant, venlafaxine.
The people involved in my care were optimistic about venlafaxine, and I desperately hoped it would help. I followed the plan because I trusted their professional advice. I had no idea how difficult the months and years ahead would become.
A withdrawal I did not understand
Looking back, I believe that reducing paroxetine over three months was too fast for me. After stopping it, I developed severe symptoms that I would later come to understand as protracted withdrawal. At the time, however, I had no name or explanation for what was happening.
I experienced overwhelming anxiety, depression, depersonalisation, suicidal thoughts, shaking, nightmares and episodes of psychosis, alongside other distressing symptoms. It felt like severe mental torture, and I was frightened that it might never end.
When I repeatedly sought help, I was often told that paroxetine was already out of my system, that venlafaxine had worked and that I needed to calm down. I felt dismissed and profoundly failed by the professionals I encountered. Being given no explanation for my symptoms made me increasingly frightened, isolated and hopeless.
Eventually, I found a small online community of people describing experiences that closely resembled my own. Through them, I encountered the term “protracted withdrawal.” This did not provide a medical diagnosis or prove the cause of every symptom, but it gave me a way to understand what I was experiencing and showed me that I was not alone. I genuinely believe that finding those people helped keep me alive.
My gradual withdrawal from venlafaxine
I continued taking venlafaxine for several years, but I did not experience the improvement I had hoped for. As I learned more about withdrawal and reflected on what had happened with paroxetine, I became determined to approach any further reduction much more cautiously.
In 2023, I began gradually reducing venlafaxine. The process took approximately three years, and I reached zero in July 2026. I made these decisions based on what I had learned from my own experiences and research. I am not presenting my taper as a schedule for anybody else to follow; medication changes should be discussed with an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
After reaching zero, I experienced another period of symptoms that I understand as protracted withdrawal. It has been markedly less severe than my experience following paroxetine, but that does not mean it has been easy. Some waves have still left me largely confined to bed, overwhelmed by depression and feelings of hopelessness.
My recovery is not a straight line. I continue to experience waves of difficult symptoms and windows when life feels more manageable. However, when I compare this experience with my withdrawal from paroxetine, I can see that things are gradually changing for the better.
I hope that I am continuing to heal and that, in time, I will regain a greater sense of normality, stability and hope for the future.
Why I created PAWS Long-Term
I created PAWS Long-Term because I remember how frightening it was to search for an explanation and find very little that reflected what I was actually experiencing. I felt isolated, misunderstood and uncertain about whether the symptoms would ever end.
I want this website to provide some of what I needed during that period: honest lived experience, understandable information, links to reliable guidance and practical ideas that may help people record their symptoms and prepare for conversations with healthcare professionals.
I am not a doctor, prescriber, therapist or crisis service. I cannot diagnose withdrawal or provide individual instructions about stopping, restarting or changing medication. What I can offer is the perspective of somebody who has travelled through two very difficult withdrawal experiences and understands how lonely and overwhelming that journey can feel.
I cannot promise anybody how long recovery will take or what their experience will be. My hope is simply that PAWS Long-Term can help people feel less alone, understand the questions they may want to ask and find clearer language for discussing their experiences with appropriately qualified healthcare professionals.
Where to go next
If you are unsure where to begin, these pages may help:
- Start Here — follow a simple route through the information on PAWS Long-Term.
- Articles — read the lived-experience articles about withdrawal symptoms and timing.
- Resources — find reliable external information and support.
- Contact PAWS Long-Term — send a non-urgent question, correction or suggestion.
If you need urgent help
PAWS Long-Term is not monitored continuously and cannot provide emergency or crisis support.
If you are in immediate danger, believe you may act on thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or cannot keep yourself or somebody else safe, call 999 or go to A&E.
For urgent mental-health help in England, call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option when offered. You can also call Samaritans free, at any time of the day or night, on 116 123.
If you are outside the UK, contact your local emergency or crisis service.